Yesterday I took my final dose of Clomid. That means that in less than a week, we might actually be able to successfully set the scene in my uterus that we need to make a baby! My RE has me on an estrogen supplement until CD12 which happens to be this coming Sunday. I have become a big fan of estrogen because this is probably the 3rd or 4th time in my reproductive life when I actually feel like I have had a "normal" cycle. Estrogen is awesome!
My brain is sort of being crazy right now. Last week, when I was experiencing one of the worst periods ever, my brain tried to tell me that it wasn't worth all this to have kids. What?! My brain also said I was stupid to want to get pregnant and put up with 9 months of problems, then 18 years of raising the end result of my strife. Again...what?! I am back to my old self now, excited about the possibility of being pregnant soon and of all the future holds for our family. However, just as I let my guard down, my silly brain started to make me think, "what if our efforts are fruitless?" I am terrified that this will not work and that we'll have to sink thousands of dollars into treatments for infertility that won't be successful. I even started to research a little and when things were looking bleak, I grounded myself from doing any further research because it caused needless worry.
Our u/s is scheduled for this coming Sunday (CD12) and we will get to see for ourselves just how my ovaries are doing with getting an egg or two ready for shipping. I keep telling people that I am nervous and excited about this all at the same time. This will be the first time that my husband has gotten to see my insides on a u/s. All my previous diagnostic ones were done without him present for the appointment. I am so hoping that for once, my ovaries look good and are doing their job, rather than wreaking havoc for my reporductive system. If things look good, my husband gets to give me a shot of HCG to get the eggs shipped out, then we should have an IUI next week, so we can put my husband's olympic swimmers a little closer to the action (just in case my CM is more of a fighter than a lover). Then, we'll wait. I'll stay as relaxed as I can, while trying to channel my energy into making a swimmer connect with an egg and hopefully decide to stick around for 9 months in a luxurious hotel called my uterus. I am making it as luxurious as possible with progesterone supplements, so hopefully it will be appealing enough for an extended stay.
On a side note, I have decided not to continue with acupuncture treatments. My last one was a week and a half ago and I have one scheduled for this Friday, which I think I will cancel. I just feel that it isn't as beneficial for me as I originally hoped and rather than looking forward to my treatments, I am now dreading them. I'm not sure that is healthy, so we'll see how it goes without acupuncture for now.
My brain is sort of being crazy right now. Last week, when I was experiencing one of the worst periods ever, my brain tried to tell me that it wasn't worth all this to have kids. What?! My brain also said I was stupid to want to get pregnant and put up with 9 months of problems, then 18 years of raising the end result of my strife. Again...what?! I am back to my old self now, excited about the possibility of being pregnant soon and of all the future holds for our family. However, just as I let my guard down, my silly brain started to make me think, "what if our efforts are fruitless?" I am terrified that this will not work and that we'll have to sink thousands of dollars into treatments for infertility that won't be successful. I even started to research a little and when things were looking bleak, I grounded myself from doing any further research because it caused needless worry.
Our u/s is scheduled for this coming Sunday (CD12) and we will get to see for ourselves just how my ovaries are doing with getting an egg or two ready for shipping. I keep telling people that I am nervous and excited about this all at the same time. This will be the first time that my husband has gotten to see my insides on a u/s. All my previous diagnostic ones were done without him present for the appointment. I am so hoping that for once, my ovaries look good and are doing their job, rather than wreaking havoc for my reporductive system. If things look good, my husband gets to give me a shot of HCG to get the eggs shipped out, then we should have an IUI next week, so we can put my husband's olympic swimmers a little closer to the action (just in case my CM is more of a fighter than a lover). Then, we'll wait. I'll stay as relaxed as I can, while trying to channel my energy into making a swimmer connect with an egg and hopefully decide to stick around for 9 months in a luxurious hotel called my uterus. I am making it as luxurious as possible with progesterone supplements, so hopefully it will be appealing enough for an extended stay.
On a side note, I have decided not to continue with acupuncture treatments. My last one was a week and a half ago and I have one scheduled for this Friday, which I think I will cancel. I just feel that it isn't as beneficial for me as I originally hoped and rather than looking forward to my treatments, I am now dreading them. I'm not sure that is healthy, so we'll see how it goes without acupuncture for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment