Fresh start

Another year has ended and a new one has begun. With the new year in full swing, so too are our efforts to expand our family. January 1 meant that we have more flex money to spend, so we opted to go ahead with our next (and hopefully last) IUI attempt. I had my baseline appointment on January 6th with my next ultrasound scheduled on the 13th. I don't know what is wrong with me this time around, but I have a completely different attitude about this cycle. Previously, I couldn't wait to talk to my sister about it (she has been my confidant though all of this...other than my husband of course) and I was more than willing to talk about it with others if they asked. Currently, I don't want to talk about it, which is crazy because we made the decision to tell everybody at Christmas about our efforts, so more people have started asking about it. My husband has really appreciated talking about it with more people, but I haven't. I just want to hurry up and go through the motions of all of this and get it over with. I of course want a positive result, but I am not feeling that emotional roller coaster that I usually have of "I can't wait...I hope it works...it better work." I'm just numb. I think it is that we have been unsuccessful so many times that I just can't take any more devastation. I am soooo hoping to get excited and that we get a positive result, so I will have good news to share for once.

As usual, my baseline appointment went well. My numbers were okay and I've started my injections. Friday will be here before I know it and we'll see how well my body is working, but I'm expecting things to look just fine. AF hasn't been all that disagreeable this time. Just some cramping and bloating, but otherwise tolerable. The plan for this cycle is basically the same as last time. The only difference will be that rather than freaking out and increasing my injections if I am slow to stim, they are starting on a higher dose earlier and will then back off the dose even if I have a slow stim (which I always do). The hope is that I won't hyperstimulate like I did last time. The goal is to have only 1-4 great follicles rather than 9 good ones. Everything else went fine last time, but for some reason, my husband's swimmers and my eggies either didn't meet up or decided not to stick around. When it comes to that part of our cycle, I will do anything I can to encourage that part of this cycle to happen. We really need this one to have a positive result.

If for some reason this doesn't work, my husband announced the other day that he is ready for us look into to moving out of state. We are tossing some ideas around, but I believe that if more treament is needed, we just might move to Maryland, because then we could get insurance that would cover future treatments (and it is a state we were already considering moving to). That would be SWEET. Of course, the sweeter option would be for this cycle to work.