Empty

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my uterus is empty. AF showed over the weekend to confirm that there is in fact not a baby growing inside of me. Yes, my husband and I are extremely disappointed (to say the least). We are also sad, angry, envious, confused, hopeful...the list of emotions goes on. This cycle was perfect...my numbers were great, my scans were good, the meds worked, IUI was completed, so I have NO idea why we didn't make a baby this time.

My RE wants me to schedule a "what's next" consult and I'm not in a terrible hurry to do so. I know we have to take a break until after the holidays for our sanity, scheduling, and financial reasons. I've accepted that. So, RE can say what he wants when I'm ready to hear it. I'm not sure if he will suggest we try IUI again, or if he will encourage us to get more testing, or go straight to IVF. I don't really care as long as the end result is a healthy pregnancy leading up to a healthy baby.

This has been the hardest cycle ever because we got so far this time, only to still have it end in defeat. "At least we know what works," we have told ourselves, but in reality...it didn't quite work...we still didn't get pregnant. My incredibly wonderful husband and I have been trying to stay positive. We are talking about possibly going back to see an Amish herbalist that we had been going to a year ago just so we feel like we're at least doing "something" while we wait to get things going again. And we are still praying every day that by some miracle, we get pregnant on our own before we have to get back on the roller coaster of meds and RE visits.