Another negative

Well, AF hasn't come yet, so I decided to go ahead and take a test. Big surprise...negative. I wasn't expecting anything else really because I didn't "feel" pregnant and the last ultrasound hadn't been promising. Still, I was wishing for a Christmas miracle. At least I'll be able to sip some bubbly on New Year's Eve if I want.

My DH has been talking a lot more with me about all this infertility stuff. It's like he has really come out of his shell in the past few weeks about it. On the one hand, it sucks that we are going through this, but on the other, it is nice to know that we're in it together and going through the same emotions. For a while, I thought I was the one carrying the bulk of the emotional burden, but he has admitted that it has affected him as well. No blame is being thrown, but we are together in our hoping and wishing and we are talking about it more openly now. In fact, I even got him the book, "How To Make Love to a Plastic Cup," which is a book for men about infertility. My DH isn't much of a reader, so I hesitated to get it for him, but he actually said he was looking forward to reading it. I hope it helps him better understand all the jargon that gets thrown out when I talk to my nurse. I have done tons of research to stay informed about everything, but he doesn't really know what is going on, so he just shows up to the appointments and follows along with what is said, then asks questions when we get to the car.

January 1 brings a new year and new hope to us. We are using my FSA this year to pay for at least some of our fertility expenses and hoping that we don't run out before we get pregnant.  We also have a few other goals for 2011 including getting my DH another vehicle before his truck dies, paying off some bills (what else is new?), and losing weight (again).

No IUI this time, but hoping for change in the New Year

I realize I haven't updated in a while, so I thought I'd go ahead and get it over with while I'm thinking about it.  At Thanksgiving, I started my first combination round of treatment. That meant that in addition to the Clomid, Estrace, and Metformin I've been taking, I also did Gonal F injections. Ultrasound day came and I didn't get my hopes up at all. As usual, it was easy to see that the meds still aren't working. My ovaries are still not working.

My nurse was super-nice this time and started telling me about all these success stories of former patients who had been struggling like me to get pregnant and just out of the blue, were calling to report they were pregnant. It lifted my spirits a bit and she told me that next round, we'll try Menopur instead to see if I will react to that. I have been asking around and it sounds like it works for a lot of people, so hopefully it will do the trick for me. I am supposed to test after Christmas just to see if I will fall into that group of random success stories, but I don't feel any different at the moment, so I'm sure I'm not pregnant. The day I get a positive pregnancy test, I'll probably fall on the floor in disbelief.

AF has been pretty regular for me since we jump-started it back in September. Hopefully, it will be more of the same this time. I'm really thinking that we'll probably take this next cycle off because I want to focus on the holidays, rather than worry about the cost of ultrasounds and medications. When the new year starts, my flex money starts over and we'll be able to save more money to pay for all this.